January 18, 2018

Not a small average move, I must say

I have intentionally neglected this blog.  Although in my mind I am always thinking about it.  It has been with good reason and I do feel that I owe an explanation. The reason is that we moved.  Not a small average move, I must say. We have moved to a different country. If you follow me on social media, you know by now that we moved to Louisiana.

My husband lived here in his teens and has always had a desire to return.  When we first got married he mentioned wanting to move here and I was absolutely against it. I had made a promise to myself that I would never ever return to the States. Just the thought of even visiting would give me a knot in my stomach, and a nauseating unsettling feeling. So that's how we lived; never thinking about it again. Every now and then my husband would reminisce about his days in the south and state how much he loved it, and that's how far the conversation would ever go.

One day my husband received an invitation to preach at a youth event in Louisiana, which he accepted.  In preparation for this event, he mentioned how nervous he was because he hadn't been there for so long. He made plans to visit his old church, which his uncle is the pastor of.  The day approached fast and he left for the weekend. I stayed home praying for him, and in my Spirit, I knew that he would not come back the same. I was right. When he returned something had changed in him. He told me that they had invited him to preach at his old church, and when he preached something happened in his Spirit.  He felt a connection with the people. They mentioned to him that they were in need of a youth pastor, and asked if he could stay.  Of course, my husband rejected the idea. He had his family and church that he loved and was not willing to leave. He told me about how they prayed for him and he felt that something happened inside of him, but he could not explain it.  We revisited the topic of moving once again, and after much discussion, we decided we could not leave our families and our church.

About a month later, he received another invitation to preach at his uncle church.  He accepted.  When he returned he told me that they invited him to leaders prayer.  They prayed and prophesied over him and he received a word from God. He didn't tell anyone what he had received. It so happens that at the very last minute before his departure he was ambushed by the church leaders basically asking him to move.  They had been intensely praying for quite some time for a youth leader, and the need was great. They expressed the concern they had for the youth group of their church.  This was in accordance with the word God had given him. Even so, the only thing that my husband answered was that he would speak to his wife and pray about it.  They said they would pray too.  That was it.  We spoke about it, and there were a lot of things that would be hard to leave unless God intervened.  So we prayed and they prayed, and I could feel the pull of their prayers in my spirit.

Through prayer, I understood that my husband had a greater calling than what he was doing.  I also understood that he needed mentorship, and to be moved from his comfort zone to be able to fulfill what God had planned for him.  I told God that I believed in my husbands calling, that I knew that I was also part of the plan and that I would go but only if He placed everything in order. As I spoke these words in prayer that knot and the nauseating feeling was lifted. But oh, how heavy were those words in my heart. To leave all those you love, and all that you have worked hard for. IT WAS NOT EASY!  My husband and I prayed, waited and set a date, to set a date. During this time we set signs that only God knew and only God could fulfill.

As time went by all the things that were happening were indicating that God was working in Lousiana's favor.  I will not get into details of everything that suddenly changed, but signs were fulfilled.  All I can say is that when you ask God to guide you, He does. And he does so in a way that you will clearly understand. YOU have to be realistic and accept God's guidance.  Many times he speaks to us again and again and we choose not to understand because we prefer to be where we are comfortable.  God spoke to us, as clear as day, and we understood.

A date for the move was set. We spoke to our loved ones, and although they were sad, they understood.  This was the pattern with everyone we spoke.  To our surprise, there was no opposition. I mean in our human-ness we thought no one cared, but now I know that was not the case. Well, I guess it is NO surprise because God does all things perfect. We bought our plane tickets, quit our jobs, sold all of our possessions and literally came with a suitcase of clothes each. Now, I do not recommend this unless you are 100% sure that God is calling you elsewhere.  So like, don't try this at home type of thing. I still can't believe it, to be honest.

Everything happened so fast. (as seems to be the norm in my life)  All of a sudden we were on a plane to our new life. I didn't even cry on the plane. I was so worried about the kids, who did amazing by the way, that I didn't have time to process my emotions until a few days after the move...  and that story is for the next post.
October 30, 2017

September 19, 2017

The best advice given to me

About a year or so ago, I was in desperate need of help. I honestly thought I was going to end up ill from stress or something. I was overwhelmed with so many things on my plate and was having a hard time balancing all of my responsibilities.

At a church conference, I met Sis. Torres.  I had heard her husband mention how they went into ministry quite young and also had small children during that time and I felt like I could relate.  So, when we were at a pastor’s lunch I was praying to God that I would somehow end up sitting near Sis. Torres so I could ask her for some advice. Basically, I just needed someone to talk to that had been in a similar position as me.  Somehow, because God knows, she ended up sitting right beside me. We engaged in some small talk. I finally got the courage to ask her how she was able to balance ministry, motherhood and all the other responsibilities; she gave me the best advice.  I had asked other people and they had just said “hang in there. God will reward you. Your kids will grow. It’ll get better.” This advice was not wrong, but to be honest not very helpful.   

Sis. Torres said to me “honestly sister, raise your kids. Your kids will not be little forever but whatever you teach them NOW will stay with them forever. You are in the season of raising your kids, and God knows, you can do all those things later.  There will be other opportunities, but you will never have your kids this young again.” 

She is right, and I have taken this advice to heart. Since receiving this advice, I’ve had to say no to many things but I’ve also learned that I can’t control everything and it’s okay to let other take control.


Plus, he is the happiest baby ever! 


P.S.  I want to do a Q&A for next post. Send me your questions and I will answer them on here. 

August 10, 2017

Baby Jay

Jason's update.


My baby is growing up too fast. I just received an email that reminded me that he is 21 months! Wow. Time has gone so very fast, I cannot believe it. He will be TWO in 3 months? 


Jason's sense of humor is amazing. Actually, I might just be saying that because he thinks I am hilarious, and that has always been my dream haha. Seriously though, he is such a happy person.  His laughter just fills the house with joy. He wakes up happy and goes to sleep happy. Just has an overall wonderful perspective on life. The only time he is grumpy pants is when he is sleepy, and I can definitely relate to that! He’s also very polite. He says “ank you”, “Peesh”, and “nuni” (excuse me). Seriously how adorbs! We bought him clothes the other day, and it didn’t matter that it wasn't named brand, or slightly big on him, or exactly what he wanted... he was Just excited and said: “ank you”.  Ack! 




Jason’s personality is so interesting. As of now, I have noticed some interesting things about his character. For instance, during a recent beach day my husband, Benji and Cousin Echo decided that they were going to have a race. So they got into position, and wanting to be part of the grand event, so did Baby Jason. There was a countdown and they all took off, including baby. He was waaaaaaaaayyyy behind, but what I really liked is that he kept going.  I was power walking along his side and he was running out of breath, but he kept going until he finally reached them.  What I found amazing is that he didn’t get discouraged because he was way behind, he just kept going until he completed his purpose.  Even though the others didn’t consider him, he didn’t care. I was just thinking to myself what a beautiful attitude to have, and a lesson to learn. God's word is so right when he says we must be like a child. Praises. 



The point is that he has a big heart.  He says hi to everyone, and wants to share everything he has.  He does not hold grudges and is so loving and sweet. Not just that, but sometimes I will be holding him on my lap and he will look over at other children having fun, and his face will just light up.  Genuine happiness to see others having a good time. When I see his face, I just melt on the inside.






Oh, I love him.







June 7, 2017

But alas by the Grace of God, I have graduated

MY UPDATE:

Last year I gave a lesson to the young girls called “Your Season of Independence”. During that lesson I talked about how everything in life has season, and that at that time it was their season to focus on God and themselves. As in, focus on your relationship with God, your ministry, your studies, and accomplishing your goals. I said one very true thing, and it was that when you do things out of season, things become harder than they were intended to be.  It’s not to say that you won’t be able to accomplish what you want, it’s just that the struggle is greater. I am a real living example of the struggle of doing things out of season.  Real life struggles, like worrying who will take care of your children, which can be quite stressful. . . But alas by the Grace of God, I have graduated! 


It was not an easy journey. I had many struggles and obstacles to overcome, and quite honestly, I think back now and wonder how I never lost my sanity. The first thing was who was going to watch my then 3 year old Benji.  I had a few moments of panic, but I am thankful for my church family who is always willing to help.  A sweet sister from my church watched him until I was able to get him into daycare. My husband would drive him to her house at like 6am, and I would take the bus to school.  We only had one car, at the time.  Then I finally got him into the daycare at my school, but now the problem was that we only had one car.  So Benji and I had to take the bus to school, and this fine… until winter rolled along. I had two 8 am classes, and I had to leave the house at 6 am to catch the bus with my then 3 year old in -30 weather.  That was brutal.  Luckily mid-winter God provided us with another vehicle, and that made things easier for us. 

First year classes were a breeze, it was mostly computer based and I found it rather enjoyable to be honest.  The thing that happened was… I got pregnant. The dilemma was that now I didn’t know what to do because I really wanted to finish school, but I also knew that with a baby I wouldn’t be able to.  So I reached out to my teacher, who was so wonderful and supportive, and she said the best thing was for me to take a year off and return after.  So after praying and discussing with hubby, that’s what I did. It was great to stay home with the kids, but I also saw the stress the finances caused on my husband. I even attempted to find a job, but never got called.  I do believe that was the will of God though, because had I worked, I probably wouldn’t have returned to school.  Seeing all my first year classmates graduating and posting about their jobs, saddened me but was also that push I needed to return to school and finish.   

The first thing about returning to school was finding who was going to take care of 9 month old baby. Luckily, a sister from church started a daycare and Jason was her first baby, and she even picked Benjamin up from school. So that was great!  Then mid semester she told me the horrible news of her returning back to work, and once again there was stress. God knows all things and prepares a way before you even know it though. God allowed my In-laws moved close to us, so FIL was able to pick Benji up from school. AND just in the nick-of-time, another sister from church became available to babysit Jason (and she still does).  I know it seems rather stranger but I promise I do not leave my baby with strangers, these are women who I love and are dear to my heart. They have been with us since the beginning of ministry and have been like mothers to me, and I am so grateful to God for them. 

3rd Semester was hard! Apart from having a young baby, a 5 year old, wife duties and ministry responsibilities, the school work load was HEAVY!!!   If there was a time where I showed time management skills, it was then. I adapted a mindset that was to do everything as soon as it was assigned. During those long breaks between classes I would not take time off, I would work through it and did everything possible to finish all my work in school. Even then, I found myself writing essays at 3am. It was quite overwhelming, but I managed to survive (zombie mode).  It was worth it though, because by the end of the semester I was able to explain the process of a civil suit, or a divorce case. I finally felt that all my efforts were worth something. 

For last semester I didn’t have any child care issues, Thank God! What happened in the month of January to mid Feb was that everyone in my home was getting sick. Like back to back, I don’t even know what, or why, or how.  All I know is that, I swear, I didn’t sleep the whole month. Even my friends in school were starting to say things like “again? Your kids are sick AGAIN?”  I had Monday’s off, and I was going to the Doctor’s office every Monday.  The receptionist there will know us forever. FINALLY everything started to go back to normal!  I missed two assignments because of these unfortunate events, but I still passed all my classes. I found a Co-op with a Spanish speaking lawyer, she hired me on right after co-op and it has been a huge blessing on my life. Lastly, yesterday was my graduation and I graduated with Distinction.  If you don’t know what that means… In my school, it is one category above honours!

So, is it possible to accomplish your dreams a little late, and out of season? Yes it is.  
Would it had been easier if I would have done it when it was intended? 100%.  You can avoid all these struggle if you just do things in their season. Keep that in mind! 


Last thing I want to say is… The biggest support I had was from my husband, since the beginning.  I applaud him for everything he has done in this journey.  Secondly my family, and my church fam has all had a part in this journey, from words of encouragement to prayers. Oh and Ms. Salazar for letting me do my interview assignment on her. The diploma is in my name, but in a sense I feel like we all graduated. 


*Shout out to Ms. Jocelyn Castro for being a reader for 5 years! YOU ROCK!  

June 3, 2017

“He’s a natural leader” she said...

Hey there,

Long time no talk. Life has sure changed since the last time I posted something. The last time I posted was about Jason's first birthday.  I posted that way back in February, soooooo I am thinking we need to have a little update post(s).

Let's start with Benjamin,

My boy is five now. He is almost done his first year of school EVER! Can you believe?  Just yesterday I was dropping him off for his first day of school, and walking away with such a heavy heart. Let me tell ya, it never goes away.  You get used to dropping them off, but when I see him walk into the school my heart is once again heavy.  I assume it will always be this way, and I will just have to endure it. Just like every other parent has had to.   All you can do is pray!

I have attended my first parent-teacher conference. You know how they say the way to make a person feel good, is to compliment their child?  Well I have never left a place feeling so proud. The teacher raved about how MY SON, was such a compassionate person, and how he was aware of other people’s feelings. She told me about the time where Benjamin had a “grand idea”, and it was to build a pretend living room station, where all the kids could go “watch TV” and eat their snacks, AND how he formulated a plan and got all the children involved to accomplish his vision. You  “He’s a natural leader” she said, as I fanned my peacock tail. It was only for a mere moment though, because I quickly was remind that child in not my own, but belongs to God. So as I returned to my vehicle my eyes filled with tears as I thanked God for my amazing child.


Benji is a great big brother.  This title includes; looking out for his little brother, holding hands with him to ensure there are no runaways, watching your iPad together, sharing your snack and fighting over anything.  Yes they fight, they cry and mom has to be the mediator.  Just the other day I made them hug it out and they both cried. It was quite comical, but I maintained my I-mean-business face. I mean, they shouldn’t fight, but that’s what a healthy sibling relationship requires. If you have never fought with your siblings… well you might have unresolved issues. Lol. OH in case you are wondering, YES the one year old is quite the defender.

How much my boy has grown! Facebook reminds me of that almost every day.  I always go on there just to see what memories will pop up and almost every day, it is baby Benji 5 YEARS AGO! Incredible. Tear. BUT what really did it, was when my brother in law sent me a video he found of Baby Benjamin who didn’t even know how to talk yet. I cried.  Apparently the more your kids grow, the more you cry.  Truth. I cry all the time, and there are no holding back these floodgates. ha!
I will never forget when Benji approached me and said “Mom, we are family and we are in love!”, and what an accurate description that was!
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